Sitting around tables at the Billy Graham Training Center at The Cove, military couples swapped stories of deployments and moves around the country and the world. They also traded marriage advice.
Over Valentine’s Day weekend, three generations sat together for lunch, all strangers before the event began. One was a Coast Guard couple celebrating over 20 years of marriage. Another—in the Air Force—had been married for 10 years. And a third, serving in the Navy, were at the five-year mark.
“The most impactful thing is the people that God has put in our lives through this place,” said Joshua Buzhardt, the Air Force member who sat at the table. “We’ve connected with so many people that you wouldn’t expect to.”
Buzhardt and his wife, Janelle, felt like they were just kids when they got married—she was 19 and he was 21. At the time, she was also like a spiritual child, and Joshua was not yet a Christian.
“We weren’t mature enough to focus on each other without just being selfish,” Joshua said.
But in 2023, God opened Joshua’s eyes to the truth of the Gospel. His personal relationship with Jesus radically changed their lives and marriage, and now in year 10, they’re hitting their stride.
Gary Thomas, pastor and bestselling author of books like Sacred Marriage, emphasised to the audience that it can take couples nine to 12 years to stop thinking of themselves as individuals, but as one. He encouraged them to “hold … fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience” (Luke 8:15, ESV).
“Every season of your marriage can help you understand God more, learn about the ways of God, get God’s heart, and learn about your marriage at the same time,” Thomas said.
That encouraged Isaiah and Emily Robertson, who have been married for just seven months. They actually celebrated the one-year anniversary of their first date on Valentine’s Day. The couple skipped the “honeymoon phase” that many people experience in their first months because Emily, a widow, had two young kids.
“The concept of perseverance, especially for us in this first year of marriage … there is a lot of complexity to it,” Isaiah said. “[We love] that reminder that the good stuff is yet to come.”
“I feel like that’s something we’re working through—our natural tendency in hard moments is to separate, then come together,” Emily shared as a takeaway from the weekend. “We should learn how to come together in the midst of this time as well.”
Thomas compared the different seasons of marriage to God’s relationship with Israel, the “greatest romance of all time.” Within the pages of Scripture, there are times of intense love, frustration, anger, infidelity, and even silence. Prior to Christ’s birth, God did not speak to His people through a prophet for 400 years.
“I think a lot of us particularly relate to the 400 years of silence, because so often, it’s not that marriage is good or bad, it just is,” Thomas explained.
Couples get caught up in the busyness of life, and often forget to connect with each other in the middle of pursuing careers or chasing children around the house.
That’s why Rob and Marjorie Weir come to The Cove every year. As a 30-year military veteran, Rob said he needs continual refreshment to go back to his job and share the Gospel with his co-workers.
“This [retreat] is a great anchor,” Marjorie said. “For us, this is how we practice Matthew 6:33: ‘Seek ye first the kingdom of God’ (KJV). Especially life, busyness, the competitive nature of [the military]—just being able to get out of that and remember why we do what we do.”
Thomas closed the session with a dose of reality—and an encouragement.
“We’re going to hit another winter [in our marriages]. … That’s real life,” he said. “I just need to persevere through those seasons, because I don’t want to miss the inheritance of what it is later on.”
Couples walking through all different seasons praised the Lord together with the song “Gratitude,” thanking God for their marriages. “I’ve got one response; I’ve got just one move. With my arms stretched wide, I will worship You,” they sang.
Will you pray for these military couples—and for many more like them? Ask the Lord to strengthen their marriages and use them to reflect His love and grace to their families, co-workers, and communities.
